BLOATING, FLATULENCE, PASSING WIND , INTESTINAL GAS, ABDOMEN DISTENTION , BURP , BELCH
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Enjoy !
Enjoy !
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TO BE CONTINUED-
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CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL
..
Let me start off my narrating a REAL life anecdote told at a shipboard party by a Filipino sailor. Few beach bums decided to play black jack.
They did NOT have the money to buy a pack of cards- so they decided to do the game with measured farts.
So , so- they placed their bets on the table and gave short farts as near to 21 as possible. One contestant reached up to 19.
Pretty soon another guy reached 20.
Then comes another guy who farted the exact number 21.
In his excitement he screamed BLACK JACK and started grabbing ZE money. But in his ungainly effort to grab a small coin at the far end of the table, his gargantuan beer belly pressed on the table and he let go another inadvertent fart, when made him cross 21 to 22.
All the guys hollered BUST and grabbed their money back.
When my elder son goes to Las Vegas, he always loses money on the Roulette and Craps tables.
After that he always wins on the Black Jack table and makes up all the damages , including what he spent at the car racing track and the super luxury room at the Bellagio .
Enjoy !
Enjoy !
Big Brother has been trying hard using his stooges like Dr RK Pachauri to make India moth ball our enormous reserves of coal by giving bull that Carbon-di-oxide is a greenhouse gas .
When Methane is a potent greenhouse gas – NOT Carbon di Oxide.
Punch into Google search-
THE LIE OF GREENHOUSE GASES CAUSING GLOBAL WARMING VADAKAYIL
Glutton humpless cow fart and belch ( methane gas ) is responsible for global warming.
The cow lobby is so strong that nobody dares to raise a voice .
Fart gas is nothing but pure methane CH4 --which has one carbon atom in the aliphatic hydrocarbon-- two carbon atoms make it ethane, and 3 makes it propane etc-- C1 to C4 is gas, C5 to C9 is car petrol, C10 to C18 is car diesel—
How many of you heard of a whoopee bag which gives a real Bronx cheer ?
There were three fat old ladies who used to visit my mother at home , for donation to some charity.
When I got married they saw my wife and passed a barb. “ In our families we NOT give our boys to Mumbai educated girls” .
I am sure they knew my wife did her schooling ( Auxilium convent ) and college ( Podar commerce ) from Mumbai.
I was ready for this occasion .
Below: CHEEEE !
Below: CHEEEE !
They shifted to the dining table to have tea and snacks. After that they shifted back to the three seater sofa, under whose cushion I has placed three nice whoopee bags.
As they sat the loud PRRRRR sounds came .
I had taken a plastic can of discarded STINKING prawn shells from the garbage bag ,and there was this bad stink too emanating from under the sofa .
It was literally NO CONTEST .
Sound and YUCK smell both .
They kept glaring at each other for farting. All the three were sure that they never farted themselves and suspected the other two .
To cut a long story short they never came back after that.
I saw them fighting bitterly on the way out .
They would NOT have suspected in their wildest dreams that such a thing called whoopie bag existed on this planet .
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Later I heard via the grapevine that this gruesome threesome were no more together, dishing out innuendos .
Later I heard via the grapevine that this gruesome threesome were no more together, dishing out innuendos .
The human gut is host to more than 100 trillion individuals from more than 500 species .. Nine out of every ten cells in our bodies belong to microbial species. Western diets ( processed foods, GM foods, antibiotic injected meats ) ) are unable to nourish the friendly bacteria.
From the advent of penicillin until the late 1990s, the evil pharma has waged a scorched earth campaign against all microbes, applying antibiotics like napalm to patients' intestinal tracts. They did NOT know that they were destroying friendly bacteria which is so important for human physical and mental health.
Taken as a whole, the organisms in the gut constitute the largest and one of the human body's most important organs of defence. Gut bacteria manufacture essential vitamins (including vitamin K as well as several B vitamins) and a great many other compounds.
Some of these compounds act on the central nervous system, moderating our appetite and the mechanisms that determine how we store fat. We eat Idli as breakfast with sour curd chutney as a culture. Idli is probiotic, while the chutney with fibre is pre-biotic.
But under the pressures of broad-spectrum antibiotics, mindless food pasteurisation and a Western import processed canned food diet loaded with preservatives , the human microbe community has probably changed more in the past 60 years than in the previous 30,000, when the shift to agriculture and cooked food ( in India ) altered our diet and lifestyle.
With mindless pasteurization our children are exposed to fewer bacteria . Their immune system is NOT qualified to accurately distinguish between good and bad microbes, which explains the escalating rates of allergy, asthma and autoimmune disease in the developed world.
The evil pharma does NOT realize that our gut is our biggest immune organ, so anything that affects the ecology of the gut is likely to have a strong impact on our bodies. GM food products and processed foods have also contributed to the squeamishness of the immune system—causing a wide range of allergies..
Today all the foreign FDI in retail stores and milk co-operative societies ( thanks to our Western stooge milkman Verghese Kurian ) in India gives us only toxic A1 humpless cow milk and milk products.
The western diet which Indian ape now feeds only the upper GI [gastrointestinal tract]. All the food has been processed to be readily absorbed, leaving nothing for the lower GI—and this is criminal.
No wonder the West consistently develop high rates of diseases such as heart disease and stroke, obesity, cancer, and type 2 diabetes.
The key to good health and looking young without a line on the face at the age of 58 is fermentation in the large intestine which hold friendly bacteria.
An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building.
A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, she bends over, and gives a series of tremendous loud farts.......
"Broccoli - 49 cents a fuc#kin' pound!"
I am reminded of a joke--
the queen had gas trouble after eating some rotten meat .
in the midst of the royal dinner she let out a resounding fart.
a lord with stiff upper lip , got up and cried " Excuzeee me pleeaaaje " -- taking the blame for the stinking fart . this is despite everybody knowing who let the thunder gas out .
the next time the queen did it-- a duke stood up and took the blame .
this continued till all the english peers-- got exhausted.
the queen let out another resounding one.
this time nehru got up and was about to take the blame.
at that time nehru's aide twirled his moustache and hollered -
SIR, THIS TIME THE FART IS ON ME -- EXCUJEEE PLEAJJJE !"
and the cat was out of the bag.
not that it was NOT already out .
Do NOT eat GM foods.
More than 66% of 65 percent of U.S. corn crops contain a special gene added that allows them to produce an insecticide. This way, when bugs attempt to eat the corn they're killed right away (specifically their stomach is split open) because the plant contains an invisible, built-in pesticide shield.
Genetically modified foods can cause disruption of DNA, which is cancer.
These "lipstick" foods which have NIL food value, minerals and vitamins. If you eat a lot of processed foods, for instance, your gut bacteria are going to be compromised because processed foods in general will destroy healthy microflora and feed bad bacteria and yeast
TO BE CONTINUED-
CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL
..